Globe-Trotting

Hello, gentle readers! My apologies for the prolonged absence...it's been one of those crazy months without much of a break to speak of. But I'm back now from the great beyond, and shall proceed to fill your heads with the brainless minutia of my life that I know you've come to love so deeply. :/

First, the school update. Things are going reasonably well with my course; I've only got 5 weeks of class left, then my life becomes Dissertation Centrale. Our topics are officially due on March 2nd, which means I've really got to get on that whole picking a topic thing. I know I want to do something regarding the relationship between Judas and Satan in the Middle Ages, but I just need to shape it and sort out exactly what I need to be researching. Should be pretty interesting though-I'm excited.

Enough of the whole school thing-on to fares of a more interesting nature. I've decided I'm definitely going to stay in London for at least another year, hopefully more. I've already agreed to live with my friends Alicia and Joe as of this May, which should be tons of fun. Normally living with a couple might be a bit awkward, but I'm really close friends with both of them, so I'm not concerned. I think it will be great fun. Now I just need to commence the job search so that I can in fact afford to live here for another year without having to set up residence in a cardboard box.

In other more exciting news, I just got back from an impromtu trip to Amsterdam, which was awesome. I was out drinking with a group of friends last Wednesday, and one of them was like, "Hey, I've got to go to Amsterdam to do some research, who wants in?" Obviously, everyone said yes. However, sobriety-induced reason caused everyone but me to drop out afterwards, and it ended up just being me and my friend Caddy tooling around Holland for 3 days, which ended up being a lot of fun. We didn't really know each other all that well when we left, but we sure do now-being in a confined space with someone for 80+ hours will do that to you. We're both extremely easy-going, so it worked out really well, I think. We even ended up making a big group of friends in a trannie bar. Backstory: we were hanging around our hostel drinking beer and smoking some weed (it was Amsterdam, after all), when we decided that we should try and go clubbing, being on vacation and everything. So we got gussied up and went outside, only to remember that it was FREEZING at night in Amsterdam in February. Instead of wandering around looking for a club, we chickened out and ended up going into the first bar we found-which, naturally, ended up being a transexual karaoke bar. And it was awesome. We instantly made friends with a whole bunch of people who kept dragging us up onstage and having us sing with them. We then appeased them by singing some Phantom of the Opera for them, which started a trend of musical theatre-themed karaoke from there on out. One of the guys just so happened to be a salsa instructor, and he and I cut a rug for a good 30 minutes, which was a ton of fun. Another hilarity-ensuing moment: while Caddy was outside smoking, one of the men we were talking to came up to me and asked if I would mind if he flirted with my boyfriend. Now, the nice thing to say would have been either A) "he's not actually my boyfriend, but he is straight, so I don't think you'll get very far; it's not really worth trying" (the truth), or B) "Actually, I'm kind of a jealous girlfriend, and I don't really like it when people hit on him" (blatant lie, but would have achieved the desired effect). Of course, being the awesome friend that I am, I went for option C) "Of course not! I'm actually really confident in our relationship, so go ahead and hit on him as much as you want. In fact, if you can win him from me, you can have him!"

I'm the nicest friend EVER.

Anyway, long story short (too late), the evening was a complete drunken success with lots of fun had by all. I know there's photographic evidence of all this, but I don't have it-as soon as it goes up on facebook, I'll pirate some of the pictures and post them for your enjoyment.

Anywho, that's about all I've got for interesting anecdotes at the moment. I promise to update more regularly; my current show closes next Saturday, so I'll have a lot more free time on my hands as of next weekend. Until then, aribaderci!

There is an Island Called Passive-Aggressiva...and I am Their Queen

My name is Colleen, and I'm passive aggressive.

I know the point of life is to learn...strive towards the ultimate goal of self-actualisation, all of that. And once I learn a lesson, I am grateful for the tutelage that life provided me. But the actual learning of the lesson? That's always hard. And I learned today that I am a bonafide passive-aggressive.

I won't go into the details of how I learned this, mainly because I'm ashamed of myself. But I discovered something important...I've always known that the reason I avoid difficult topics and conversations is that I'm terrified of confrontation. The idea of upsetting or insulting or offending someone, even inadvertantly, makes me physically sick to my stomach. But sometimes it's better to say something important that might be hurtful quickly. If you don't, then frankly, you're showing disrespect to the person you tried to avoid hurting in the first place. Obviously, if the hurtful comment isn't totally essential, it's best to leave it alone, but if it's something that absolutely has to be said, then it's disrespectful not to say it, as long as it's said in the gentlest possible way and with nothing but the best intentions. If things remain unsaid and you avoid conflict, all that will happen is a bigger confrontation once everything eventually comes out-and it most definitely will, of that you can be sure. So what's better in the long run-avoid confrontation out of fear as long as possible until you're forced to deal with not only the original problem but the compounded one of already hurt feelings, or just showing respect and getting it over with quickly? Obviously option B is rationally preferable, but I can't help making the mistake of choosing option A over and over again.

But I think I've finally learned my lesson. I've always considered myself a person who shows others the respect I would myself like to be shown. But dishonesty is certainly a form of disrespect, even if you think you're trying to be nice. My next goal on my road to self-improvement-man up and deal with problems when they arise. Everyone will be happier in the end.

p.s. sorry about the lame Grey's Anatomy quote for a title, but it just fit so well with the theme....

The Glories of a Failing Economy

Disclaimer: in this entry, I am in no way trying to make light of the current global financial situation, nor am I trying to take pleasure in other people's pain.

OK, maybe I am a little bit. :)

As most of you are I'm sure aware, the pound has always been stronger than the dollar. And the Euro. And the Kraun. And the Australian dollar. And every other monetary currency that one can dream up. However, that changed last week when the pound dropped below 1.3 to the dollar, and is now equal to the Euro. And it just so happens that the pound dropped the exact day that my loan cheques were converted from dollars into pounds. Which basically means that although my loans are the exact same amount in dollars this term as they were last term, I now have almost twice as many pounds. That's right. My cheque increased BY 3,000 POUNDS this term.

I know the economy really sucks right now. But God, I love it.

Making Responsible Decisions

It's not so easy being a grown-up. I mean, sure, there's wine and freedom involved, but I think today I finally started to learn that being a grown-up is more than that. It's about making difficult choices that will benefit you in the long run. For example, the last week or so I've been having some financial difficulty. Nothing too major, and I've now sorted it out, but it really got me thinking about some of the choices I've made in the past and how maybe they were not the most mature route I could have taken. For example, in college I built up a lot of credit card debt doing things that I didn't necessarily need to be doing, like backpacking through Europe and the like. Now, I'm not saying that I regret doing those things; I gained quite a bit of life experience throughout my various adventures. I think maybe there's a time and place for being young and stupid. But now that I'm older and perhaps a tiny bit wiser, I'm starting to look at the big picture. Yes, it would be nice to go travelling-if I truly had the money to do so. It would be great to take out a lot more student loans, but what happens when I finally have to start paying them off? It doesn't seem like such a big deal right now to make a late payment on a bill, but what about in 5 years or so when I decide I want to buy a house? Or even before that-what if next year I get a job in a city where I need a car and I don't have the proper credit to buy one? What if I don't build up my credit to where it needs to be in the next couple of years, and then end up wanting to get married? Not that I see that really happening in the near future, but what if it does? I can't bring bad credit into a marriage. I know this is all hypothetical at this point in my life, but to be honest, it won't be hypothetical a few years from now. And the time has finally come to start thinking about that. I can no longer be immature about my life choices and always opt for immediate gratification. Yes, it seems like a really awful prospect to have to wait a few years to start my PhD, but how smart is it to start one when I can't afford it? It's not like I'm going to medical school to be a brain surgeon; religious studies professors aren't known for their inflated salaries.

So I've decided to start taking the bull by the balls, so to speak. My current problems just about sorted, it's now time for a long term plan. I'm thinking seriously about donating eggs. I won't lie, my first priority would be to get out of debt entirely, but as high-paying one-off things go, it's a good thing to do. There are plenty of worse ways to make a lot of money. I know a lot of people have a moral objection to doing this; women only have a limited number of eggs, there will be a kid somewhere in the world with my genes, etc etc. But I don't see it that way. I see it as a chance to give an infertile couple the thing they want most. I mean, I personally think it would be wiser for said hypothetical couple to adopt, as there are millions of homeless children out there to love, but if they really want a child by birth, and I can give it to them and get out of debt in the meantime, why not? Like I said, there are plenty of worse ways to earn money. Step two on my road to maturity and financial stability-take at least a year off before my PhD. I don't really want to, but it's the smart thing to do. I need to find a job and save up money so that I can do this the responsible way.

Normally I'm not a proponant of New Year's Resolutions, as I see no reason why the Julian calendar and the position of the Earth around the sun should have any effect on our ability to efficiently resolve ourselves on a goal, but I guess if I were to make one, this counts as mine. It's time to start living like an adult and planning for the future. In 3...2...1..go!

The One With All The Pictures

So it occurred to me that because I'm too lazy to buy a camera, I haven't posted any pictures of my life in London, and it's about darn time I did. Worth a thousand words, yada yada yada. So I engaged in some stealthy thievery of my friends' facebook albums, and have come up with a succint photographic summary of my life thus far across the pond. They were supposed to be in choronological order, but they're not. My apologies to any OCD sufferers out there.

Michaela and me at Phineas, the on-campus student bar a couple
months ago.

Claire and me at Murphis (aka Murphy's with an I) Karaoke night

for Fiona's birthday last night. This is the legendary "Fiona Pose".

From left to right: Fiona, Rachel, Betsy, Holly, and myself at Blues Bar...November? December? Not really sure.

Kendall and I dressed up as Sherlock Holmes and Watson

for Andy's birthday party in October.

Reuniting with Manny C. over New Year's in Miami...

Lucy, Arianne and myself talking full advantage of Manny's self-serve

fully stocked bar on New Year's Eve.

Me, Monica, and "my" Manny on NYE

Seeing Manny again for the first time. Even though my arrival wasn't the surprise it

was supposed to be, it was still a great night.

Me, Claire, Betsy, and Rachel waiting to get into Blue's Bar. Less

drunk pictures of me have been taken...

Me and Fiona on our regular Phineas Wednesday night

All the girls-Betsy, Rachel, Fiona, Michaela, and me at Phineas. On a Wednesday. Again.

Me, Fiona, Jeff, Betsy, and Katie on our first night out as a group way back in October.

Jon and me at the Colliseum when we backpacked Italy in September.

Clockwise, from left: Dave, Genevieve, Jon, Janice, Swanny, Fiona (different Fiona), and me in Positano eating super-awesome pizza. We were all in the same hostel together, and thus befriended each other over pizza and trips to the beach.


That's all for now, folks! Hope that will satiate your thirst for pictures until I get around to actually procuring a camera...

Parker's On His Way!

So I just found out some great news-my best friend Grace went into labour today!!! I wish so much that I could be there with her right now...we've been through everything together since I was 8 and she was 6; it feels wrong that she should reach such a milestone in her life when I'm not there. But, we pull through.

Anyway. Parker. I'm too excited for words. I think I've said this before, but I find it amazing how much you can love someone you haven't even met yet. I'm just so jazzed to meet this baby. Don't get me wrong-I'm in no way ready to be a mom. There are a million things I want to do first (not the least of which is be in a relationship that lasts longer than 6 months). However, I am ready to be a proud auntie. I want to be there for Parker when he starts to grow up and becomes his own person. I want to be around to help guide him during those times when you just really don't want to talk to your parents about what's bothering you. I want to be the cool aunt that he feels he can connect to. Every kid needs an adult in their life who will be honest with them and won't judge them or be too overprotective; I want to be that for Parker. I've been sending letters for Parker to Grace for the last 7 months for her to keep for him for when he grows up; I really hope she does save them. I sent one over to him just today telling him what's going on in the world today while he's being born; the top 5 books, movies, songs, news stories, etc. I told him how old all his aunts and uncles are and where they live and what they are doing. I can only hope that when he's old enough to appreciate it, that will mean something to him. I told him how lucky he is to have such great parents who love him so much, and when he grows up to look for a girl just like his mom, and when he finds her, treat her just the way his dad treats Grace. I hope he listens. He really has no idea how fortunate a baby he is to have that family.

God, I'm so excited. I normally don't pray that often, not as often as I used to anyway, and definitely not as often as I probably should. But a safe delivery? That's definitely something I'll pray for. I always knew I liked kids, but I never knew quite how much until the news of Parker came along. I guess I am a kid person, after all. At least when they're someone else's kids and you can return them when they get noisy or start leaking, anyway. :)

The Most Important Lessons of 2008

I'm a firm believer that we never stop learning. I'm not talking about academics; it's life lessons I'm referring to. Life is, contrary to popular belief, actually quite kind to us. Every time something happens, bad or good, it comes with a lesson. The problem usually lies in the fact that we just don't, you know, listen. So because I'm a firm believer in trying to actually move forward with the knowledge that life unceremoniously throws into my face, here is my list of the top lessons I've learned in 2008.

1) If you work long enough and hard enough, what you're striving for will come to you. Maybe not in the way you expect, but eventually it will. The difficulty lies in getting back up after you fail and trying again. Trying to keep going after a failure is one of the most difficult and painful things a person ever has to do, but it will pay off in the end.
2) Be direct with people. Never stop being kind, but don't let kindness turn into falseness.
3) Be honest in everything you do.
4) No matter how many people you love, there is always room for one more. Love is funny that way; it doesn't spread itself thin.
5) Great friends are rare. A group of them is a downright miracle. Treat them well.
6) Overdrafts are bad.
7) So are credit card bills. Especially when you pay them late.
7b) Paying the minimum balance will only keep your balance from not going up; it won't take your debt down in any way. Interest sucks.
8) There will always be an "us" and a "them". Be very careful in making assumptions about the "them" of the day; human nature does in fact veer towards equality.
9) Gossip is destructive, and engaging in it will only lessen the respect others have for you.
10) Actions don't make people; intentions make people.
11) Just because you're bad at something doesn't mean you shouldn't try.
12) Age really truly is just a number. Maturity is what matters.
13) Surprise parties are almost never a surprise. But it's still nice to try.
14) There's a difference between knowing your talents and being cocky about them. The first is vital, the second lethal.
15) Every single person in the world has something to teach you.
16) Cigarettes will not in fact help you sober up. I learned that the hard way.
17) Some stereotypes actually do have truth to them. (I hate to say it, and no disrespect to my new country of residence, but British food? BLECH!)
18) Yes, it is really fun to sit in front of the tv in your pjs for hours. But don't do it more than once a week.
19) Having a straight friend of the opposite sex in whom you're not interested is a really valuable thing. When they give you romantic advice, listen to them.
20) If you have the capacity to help someone, do. It may inconvenience you a little bit, but not only will it come karmically full circle, but it's just the right thing to do. It's part of being a good person.
21) Take care of your body. You don't need to be a gym bunny or a health food nut, but now is the time when you should be taking care of yourself so that later you can retain the health you take for granted now.
22) Hobbies enrich your life and make you an interesting person. Make time for them.
23) Learn to recognize when he's just not that into you.
24) Read. Even if it's crappy vampire fiction (my personal form of crack), make sure you're reading something. Movies are great, but they are NOT a substitute for literature.
25) Every now and then, turn off your phone and spend some time with your friends. You won't realize how many hours a day you spend looking at your phone until you turn it off.

And my personal motto, if something isn't going to bother you three days from now, don't let it bother you today. It will only give you heart problems.